okcupid

13 Reasons I Passed On Your Online Profile

While many of my friends have found love from online dating, it seems more and more like finding a needle in a haystack. Finding a normal guy in the real world is hard enough but give them the Internet to hide behind and the freaks come out to play. Ladies, try to dodge these bullets. Men, please take note that you are creeping us out, BIG TIME.

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Ummm.. NO?! I do not want to be raped by you, strange man from the Internet. Thanks anyway.

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Did you just admit this on the Internet for everyone to see?! I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that you think this is acceptable to put out into the world or the fact that you actually believe this.

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You cannot be that excited about everything. Enough with the exclamation points !!

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Sarcasm is really hard to pull off online. Unless you’re serious… in which case I am even less interested.

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You lost me at “I’m 18”

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The fact that you said, “I don’t bite” makes me think you do. 

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Self explanatory.

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Gee, I hope so.

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It started out so well and then BAM. Nothing attracts a woman like bringing STDs into the conversation.

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This is just a personal pet peeve of mine. Yes, I get it. We all need water and air and stuff to live. It’s not that clever.

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It doesn’t bother me the amount. What bothers me is someone who is willing to put their salary on the Internet for strangers to see. That’s weird, no?

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I like dogs.

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You got it right the second time! Know the difference between “you’re” and “your.”

What sends you running for the hills?

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Tales From Online Dating: OKCreeper Part 6

Another day, another scary online dating message. In case you were concerned, there is no shortage of creepers in the world of online dating. Let’s check up this round-up…

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Some context – In one of my pictures I am holding a dog. Now this message is weird.

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Ah! You’re Jewish! That’s all I needed to know.

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100% not interested.

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This message basically just propositioned me to have casual sex. Men are so charming these days.

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Whoa.. slow down buddy.

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Coming on a bit strong Frank.

Tales From Online Dating: OKCreepers Part 5

Back to the online dating game. Same creepers, different day. What would you do with these messages?

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That doesn’t creep me out… No… Not at all…

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Clever. I will give you that. But I’m gunna go with Guantanamo.

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Being a med student allows you to be a creeper? That’s news to me.

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If someone actually said this in real life, I’m not sure how I would respond. It is so beyond cheesy that I can’t handle it.

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Note: this was a SECOND message. After I didn’t respond to the first, he sent through this one. Now I know I made the right choice.

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That was the whole message. Yup.

Tales From Online Dating: OKCreeper Part 4

Back by popular demand (okay we’re really just back because we have some more creepy messages), we have another addition of OKCreeper for you! OKCupid never seems to disappoint and lately we have been blessed with some interesting messages for your viewing pleasure:

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Huh?! If you looked at my profile you would have seen that I speak English and only English. HOWEVER, I am a resourceful girl and know how to use Google so I see this is what you really meant to send me:

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My response to this…. Huh?!
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What a guy. He complimented me, sent me a smiley face, etc. #swoon. It was only until a few hours later when I got this…

 

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Ahh the old copy and paste trick! He almost got away with it but I guess he forget he already got me. PASS.
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No.
Have you done online dating? Any funny stories to share?

Tales From Online Dating: OKCreeper Part 3

Welcome back to another addition of OKCreeper! If you were every curious about joining the online dating scene (OKCupid specifically) here is a quick look at what you would be getting into. Some of these are mine and others from friends. The names of these suave men have been deleted as to protect their identity. To see more OKCreeper click here.

 

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I appreciate that you want to have a conversation right away but does it have to be super awkward about sex? Your intentions are clear and I am running for the hills.
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Yep. This was written by a male. Stop using more smiley faces than me!
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Serious question. Is that a serious question?

Have you done online dating? Any funny stories to share?

 

Tales From Online Dating: OKCreeper Part 2

Aaand we’re back again because the creepy men of the Internet never sleep! Here’s another look at what goes on when using OKCupid. Some of these are mine and others from friends. This just proved that there is no shortage of OKCreepers. Yes these are real. Yes I’m hiding usernames to try to be nice. No, we didn’t message these men back. To see more OKCreeper click here.

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I guess I should give you points for being forward but something tell me that you are not going to win anyone over with a date at White Castle.
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Ever heard of Ashley Madison dude?! That’s where you need to be, not on OKCupid. No. I do not want to help you cheat on your wife with a “discreet relationship.” And the fact that you are old enough to be my dad isn’t helping either.
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I’m glad you enjoyed my profile enough to message me but don’t you think you’re going out on a limb by asking some person you have never met to your office holiday party at one of the most expensive Broadway shows? Yes, I would love to see Wicked but I’d prefer if you weren’t there.
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Is this a compliment? I think so…. but I can’t tell through all the talk of apocalypses and leprosy babies. Sorry dude, you lost me at nuclear.
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Now you are trying to guilt me into responding?! Do you think that I will be up all night tossing and turning because I didn’t respond? Nice try…
Have you done online dating? Any funny stories to share?

Tales From Online Dating: OKCreeper

Hi. My name is Cara, and I’ve tried online dating. After much peer pressure and growing curiosity, I finally made an OKCupid profile. For those of you who don’t know, OKCupid is a free online dating site popular with people in their 20’s. After 2 weeks on the site, the jury is still out on whether online dating is awesome or awful. While I do enjoy the prospect of potentially meeting a really cool guy, I think I enjoy the creepy messages even more.

 

For every seemingly normal guy you meet, there are about 8 others who are straight up creepers. My fascination with the site really lies in the messages these crazy guys send. Do these things actually work on women?! Here are some of my favorites below and something tells me that this will be a recurring blog post because there are no short of creepers on OKCupid (I’ve erased the names of the profiles to protect the privacy of the creepers):

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Thank you for reading my profile and noticing I like Guster. However, I do not appreciate the extremely awkward overshare and the fact that you completely change the subject as if I wouldn’t notice?

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At least you are self aware. For the record I was planning to delete right after reading the cheesy pick up line. The creepy fetish was just the icing on the cake.
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Why thank you sir! I’m happy I meet all your criteria… being a Jew. Please don’t talk about my family. I don’t even know you.
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Not that!
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Thanks for assuming I’m racist. Please know that I am not messaging you back because you called me baby, not because you are black.
Have you done online dating? Any funny stories to share?