An Open Letter to Veronica Roth

Dear Veronica Roth, 

Tomorrow, Allegiant will automatically be delivered to my kindle. I’ve literally been counting the days. Although your books are geared towards “young adults”, as a 24 year old professional I found myself sucked into the marvelous dystopia you have created. Tris and Four are perfectly visualized in my brain. I can picture them so clearly jumping on trains, dressed head to toe in black, covered in meaningful ink.

When I first started reading Divergent, I was skeptical. I have the biggest girl crush on Katniss and I couldn’t imagine your female lead being half ass badass. I was wrong. In a world where you are expected to be one way and one way only, Tris breaks all boundaries. 

I’m anxious to read the next and final chapter in your trilogy. But I’m scared I will be disappointed. There is a lot of hype around this book. Please don’t make me regret my excitement. 

I hope the land outside the walls resembles the one we live in now – a bit tattered and a shitshow…but also beautiful. I hope you don’t try to introduce another man or woman into the Tris/Four relationship. I’m sick of the love triangle shit that so many authors have played upon. I hope you don’t kill off everyone. Insurgent was so sad at times. I can’t take any more death.

If you do this book right, I promise to be your biggest advocate. Don’t fuck this up, okay? Thanks.

xox, S Donk

Let Me Live With You..Please?!

Dear Future Roomie, 

Hey girl(s) hey! I’m Shari, a 22 (almost 23!) year old amazing, smart, funny woman working in Midtown. I have compiled a list of things you need to know in bullet form – for an easy read. Ready? Here we go…

  • I am a non-smoker
  • I have no pets, because lets face it I sneeze at anything that’s on four legs. 
  • I’m looking for roommates who have their own lives and won’t be upset if I don’t want to spend all my free time with them, but also ones who will invite me to watch a movie on the couch or grab drinks on a Friday night at a local bar. 
  • If you are good at hair and makeup, that’s a plus! Because I enjoy a personal assistant-like someone to help me with that nonsense before I go out on Saturday nights.
  • I’m fairly clean. I mean, there will be a hot mess of clothes all over my room and I may leave 4 pairs of shoes out in the hallway near the door.. but dishes won’t stay in the sink longer than 2 days.
  • I’ll take out the bathroom garbage when I’m on my period (it’s only fair you do the same).
  • I don’t think its customary to send a picture with these, so I will let you know I do not weigh 800 pounds. I am of average height and weight and will never eat your leftovers…unless you offer them.
  • I occasionally get #whitegirlwasted on weekends. I don’t throw up as much as I used to but, hey, it happens. If and when that should occur, there will be no mess to be had. PROMISE. I’m an expert at making it to the toilet.
  • I like to workout during the week and will be willing to share my massive collection of workout DVDs. That being said, I will silently judge you for only getting through 10 minutes and immediately eating cake after.
  • My boyfriend lives in Albany and we see eachother roughly once a month. He will be visiting for a long weekend on occassion. Sorry in advance if you hear the bed creaking or some muffled sounds you wish you hadn’t heard. All activities in the sexual nature will stay in my room and will not be conducted on our couch, kitchen counters, or living room rug…unless no ones home then I can’t make any promises.
  • I get sick pretty often – sneezing, sore throats, stomach flus, shingles… 
  • I snore in my sleep. I also have a history of sleepwalking and sleep talking.
  • I bring with me some awesome perks – a Corkcicle, a blender, and..wait for it.. an excessive amount of board games! You’re welcome.

If you think I’d be a good fit, please tweet me with #DONKforroommate so I can track it. It’s the quickest way I will see your interest. Picking me as your roommate is a decision you will not regret. 

Please pick me. Please. Pretty please.