jewish

10 Reasons Why Real Life Isn’t The Same As Summer Camp

Sleepaway camp was a dream for both us kids and our parents. 2 months away from home where we get to be free! And 2 months away from home where our parents get to be FREE. There really is no down side. Anyone who went to sleepaway camp know that it is a different world. You live in a bubble and then get sent back to the real world with no sense of how to behave in real life. Apparently, some things are only acceptable at camp…

1. Shower Hour isn’t a real thing.
You can shower whenever you want and in most cases you don’t have to worry about running out of hot water.

2. You don’t need to wear shoes in the shower.
Apparently, only the bathhouse makes you afraid that you will get dirtier from being in the shower.

3. You can blow dry your hair, listen to music, and watch TV… at the same time!
You won’t blow a fuse!

4. Cheering/singing at your food is not normal practice.
If you sing at your food at a yesterday demanding it to appear on your table, your wait staff will not be happy and you will likely end up with a loogie in your meal.

5. Dirt lines are not okay.
I know you are proud of the “tan” line you see from your Birkenstocks but nobody in the real world will applaud you for that.

6. Socks with sandals are also not okay.
This one is just a bummer.

7. Not everyone you meet in life is Jewish.
I know… you may be thinking “What?! But everyone in sleepaway camp is Jewish?!” You didn’t know it then, but your parents sent you to a Jew camp. That’s why you had Shabbat dinner every Friday and said a prayer before you ate your food.

8. Soffees are for sleeping or working out.
At camp that are a fashion necessity but if you wear them in the real world, people will assume they are pajamas.

9. You can’t sleep in the same sheets for 2 months. 
Best practice: every 2 weeks. Shocking right?!

10. There are stores cooler than Walmart.
In fact, Walmart is crap. It’s just cool when there is NOTHING else around.

What camp things do you do that aren’t accepted in the “real world”?

The 7 Most Annoying People You Sit Next To On An Airplane

I don’t travel often but when I do, I travel with purpose. Before every flight I make a plan for how I am going to spend those hours in the air. Am I going to sleep? Read? Do some work? Watch a movie? The possibilities are endless and frankly, I put a lot of thought into it. But then you encounter someone REALLY annoying and your plans are foiled. Here’s how these fools ruined my flight.


Chatty Guy. 

This guy does not shut up. He wants to learn about your life. He doesn’t care that you put headphones in or that you are so clearly reading a kindle. He just wants to chat. He’s bored, and you’re his prey. It’s hard to get rid of chatty guy unless you pretend to go to sleep in which case you cannot do all the things you planned to do on this flight. Not to mention you will always be thinking of ways to ignore chatty guy and then get distracted from your other activities. (For example, chatty guy made me buy a turkey sandwich even though I was planning to get the cheese plate. Some may argue that this was my fault but I however attribute it to chatty guy distracting me).

Religious Guy. 

I will never forget my encounter with religious guy. Religious guy is the man who preaches to you about Jesus or Johava or whatever and will not leave you alone until you promise to convert, repent your sins, and head directly to church with him immediately after we land. I made the mistake of being nice to my flight neighbor. I threw out his trash for him. I was on the outside and frankly I didn’t want him leaning over me. This good deed landed me in a 45 minute conversation about why I  should believe in Jesus. As a Jew, this was exhausting and I tried all the same tactics I do with chatty guy (book, headphones, sleep) but once religious guy is on a roll there no stopping him. Lesson learned here is that no good deed goes unpunished. I now refuse to talk to anyone and I prominently display my Jewish star necklace on all flights.

Smelly Guy. 

You’re screwed. Not much you can do here. This dude forgot his deodorant and hes sitting next to you. Nothing you can do but ride it out and practice breathing only with your mouth. Smelly guy taught me that I can hold my breathe for one minute!

Dog Guy. 

I love dogs and I don’t mind having them on my plane. In fact, I would love to play with a dog on a plane. That sounds like fun. However, I think there is a requirement that only small, yappy dogs who don’t shut up are allowed on the plane. Not cool chillaxin dogs. High pitched diva dogs. And the worst part is their owners. The owners who are used to this high pitch sound from the devil and do nothing to shut them up. We all have to just endure the sounds of this tortured animal. Note to self – get a dog sitter.

Crying Guy. 

Ah yes… the grand finale of annoying airplane people. It is no secret that the crying baby is the WORST thing that can occur on a flight. Babys have no off switch. They have lots of energy. And they took a nap beforehand as to save up for their big moment. You sit down, everything is quiet. The doors close. We are lifting off and you start to drift……… BAM CRYING BABY. Now you are awake, irritated and stuck listening to the whales until the baby knocks himself out (so about 3 hours). Get yourself some really good headphones people! I enjoy my beats. 🙂

Small Bladder Guy.
Let’s say the flight is 6 hours. Maybe you had a soda from the little cart. You can pee once (twice max) during this flight. If you’re on the inside you should consider holding it the whole time. But no. Not small bladder guy. This guy requires that he gets the window seat and then waits until you’re sleeping to have to pee. Learn some common courtesy!

Should Have Bought 2 Seats Guy.
Maybe I’m being rude, HOWEVER, when I am on the plane I stay to the confines of my seat. My legs or arms will not cross the invisible barrier that separates one seat from another. I expect the same from you. If you are incapable of staying in your zone then buy 2 seats. I will not be uncomfortable the whole flight. Had to be said.

Who are the most annoying people you encounter on a plane? Share below!

The Hunger Games Themed Bat Mitzvah

Hi Dawn. Let’s be best friends! While I don’t know you, I did stalk your bat-mitzvah photos on the Internet and I fell in love. While searching for fun things to pin, I stumbled across cool bat mitzvah themed parties. Back in the day, I had a candy themed party and it was AWESOME. However, if I could do it all over again, I may have copied Dawn’s idea.

Dawn (this girl from the Internet I never met) had a Hunger Games themed party complete with a firey DJ booth, care packages falling from sky with bread and spiles, and girl on fire center pieces. Some pics are below but to see the full story click here.

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Are you jealous of Dawn and headed to Party City right now to get your own stuff? I know I am! Share your party ideas below!
 
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Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey Sing ‘All I Want For Christmas’

Christmas came early this year. I stumbled upon this video from the Elvis Duran Show website and died a little inside. Not only is All I Want For Christmas one of the best Christmas songs of all time, but adding the tiny sensation that is the Biebs is just icing on the cake. Even a Jewish girl from Queens like me can appreciate this masterpiece. Watch and enjoy!

Is this not all you ever wanted for Christmas?!
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