13 Reasons I Passed On Your Online Profile

While many of my friends have found love from online dating, it seems more and more like finding a needle in a haystack. Finding a normal guy in the real world is hard enough but give them the Internet to hide behind and the freaks come out to play. Ladies, try to dodge these bullets. Men, please take note that you are creeping us out, BIG TIME.

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Ummm.. NO?! I do not want to be raped by you, strange man from the Internet. Thanks anyway.

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Did you just admit this on the Internet for everyone to see?! I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that you think this is acceptable to put out into the world or the fact that you actually believe this.

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You cannot be that excited about everything. Enough with the exclamation points !!

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Sarcasm is really hard to pull off online. Unless you’re serious… in which case I am even less interested.

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You lost me at “I’m 18”

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The fact that you said, “I don’t bite” makes me think you do.Β 

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Self explanatory.

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Gee, I hope so.

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It started out so well and then BAM. Nothing attracts a woman like bringing STDs into the conversation.

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This is just a personal pet peeve of mine. Yes, I get it. We all need water and air and stuff to live. It’s not that clever.

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It doesn’t bother me the amount. What bothers me is someone who is willing to put their salary on the Internet for strangers to see. That’s weird, no?

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I like dogs.

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You got it right the second time! Know the difference between “you’re” and “your.”

What sends you running for the hills?

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