Bachelor Recap: 2 Days Last Week?!

I am currently 6 hours behind on the Bachelor, thanks to the fact that there were TWO days of Bachelor aired last week – the ONE week I decide to have a life and not be around Monday or Tuesday to watch. Tonight, I will sum up these 2 episodes and later this week I will recap THIS weeks – just in time to (hopefully) watch next week’s hometown dates (ALREADY?!) when it airs. Okay to the 3 of you that read – thanks for waiting and here we go..

MONDAY FEB 4
Girls are packing their bags and heading to Montana for three dates this week.

Lindsay gets the one-on-one “let love soar”. Airplane? Helicopter? Who cares, Sean is wearing plaid and lookin’ like a cute lil cowboy. BOOM helicopter. Nailed it. They ride over Glacier National Park. Lucky bitches. Sean and Lindsay think they know eachother already (doubtful) and are all lovey dovey kissing by the mountains. Sean asks her to open up about her childhood.. I’m impressed that he remembered these details he told her about being an army brat. It must be really hard to keep track of all the girls’ backstories. I feel like at this point, the guys would still need to be wearing name tags for me.. This is quite the boring date to watch. Lindsay obviously get a rose and they head to a concert and kiss more.

Group date card reveals that Tierra and Jackie are the 2 on the 2-on-1. Tierra doesn’t seem worried, she’s just more happy to not be with the other 8 girls on another group date. But that date will come later… next up is the group date. Goats and Chris Harrison? My kind of date. The girls get broken into teams of 4 for a Montana relay. This is cute and different – good job producers! The relay must end with someone drinking goats milk. I hope someone vomits. Losing team gets no second half of the date. Lets the claws come out baby!! Red team (Des Robyn Selma Sarah) wins, Des chuggeddd that milk. No vom, but still entertaining. Sean decides to bend the rules a bit and doesn’t wanna send people home with people he hasn’t spent enough time with. He decides to invite the other girls on the group date BACK to the party. Super sweet and the girls are excited. I’m sure the other 4 girls who thought they’d get all this time alone with him will NOT be as excited. I was right…

Red team girls are talking smack. Sean is doing an interview and here creeps Tierra. Ummm what are you doing here?! Is this real life? This bitch cray. YOU WERE NOT INVITED. Even Sean was all “WTF, bro?” But clearly not too pissed since he didn’t shoo her away and kissed her goodnight. Thank the lord she didn’t go up and crash the party with the other girls there or I think they would’ve punched her in the face.

Des gets made when AshLee steals Sean. AshLee proclaims she’s already falling in love. Sean wants to snuggle with Catharine. They’re kinda cute together honestly. They’re both so smiley and giggly and adorbs. I kinda wanna snuggle with Catharine. Daniella sees Catharine on his lap and feels uncomfortable. Probably because Daniella has maybe spent 25 seconds with him and has had 10 seconds of air time.. I’d be pissed too and not shocked to see the betch cry. Tears immediately stop when he kisses her and she feels a whole lot better when she gets the rose.

Finally the two on one date and I’m already annoyed at Tierra. I’m honestly going to fast forward most of this part because I don’t want to hear her speak. They ride horses – Tierra and Sean ride ahead and leave Jackie behind, which I know (thanks spoilers) that Jackie does eventually get sent home after this even though she talked a whole buncha smack to him about Tierra, I guess it didn’t work. WompWomp. Sidenote: when Sean talks to one girl on these dates, what does the other one do? Sit and eat? Drink? Talk to the producers? It’s probably super awk. Also I LOVE the way the editors cut to Tierra hysterical laughing after Jackie got sent home. Amazois.

Cocktail party – Des is a little uneasy and confused leaving Sean uneasy and confused. Tierra wants to punch everyone in that room. Ironic, because everyone in American wants to punch Tierra. More Tierra drama. I’m so over her. Sean is finally coming to his senses that maybe she’s not being completely real. Sean and Chris have some bro time.

Robyn gets sent home this week. I’m really glad he saved Des because she’s just adorable.

TUESDAY FEB 5
My DVR did this really awesome thing where it didn’t record the episode.. so here’s the shortest post ever on this week.The girls go to Canada. Catharine gets a one-on-one which I can only imagine was full of her being cute and laughing at all his jokes and a lot of Eskimo kisses and 3rd grade like lovin. Shit got real when Catharine opened up that she watched a girl die in front of her when she was 12. Holy shit. Is that real life? How do you even get over that? Fucking tragic… I can’t even deal.. She gets a rose.

The group date involved a canoe. One armed Sarah struggled… I wonder what was harder – canoeing with one arm or roller blading with one arm. They then do a polar bear plunge! The ambulence is called again thanks to Tierra. Who knows if she was really experiencing hypothermia or not. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a huge fake. I kinda hate her if you can’t tell.

Desire also gets a one on one since Sean wasn’t completely feeling it with her on the last episode. He needed time to see what they had. He becomes smitten with her yet again and she gets a rose.

Other highlights: Sarah gets sent home. Super emotional city. Selma kisses him (I KNEW SHE WOULD) but also gets sent home with Daniella – who I legit didn’t even know her name until this week so that wasn’t a surprise.

This week, Monday Feb 11, coming on THURSDAY this week. Back on track ladies and gents. #LETSGOO

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