I don’t travel often but when I do, I travel with purpose. Before every flight I make a plan for how I am going to spend those hours in the air. Am I going to sleep? Read? Do some work? Watch a movie? The possibilities are endless and frankly, I put a lot of thought into it. But then you encounter someone REALLY annoying and your plans are foiled. Here’s how these fools ruined my flight.
This guy does not shut up. He wants to learn about your life. He doesn’t care that you put headphones in or that you are so clearly reading a kindle. He just wants to chat. He’s bored, and you’re his prey. It’s hard to get rid of chatty guy unless you pretend to go to sleep in which case you cannot do all the things you planned to do on this flight. Not to mention you will always be thinking of ways to ignore chatty guy and then get distracted from your other activities. (For example, chatty guy made me buy a turkey sandwich even though I was planning to get the cheese plate. Some may argue that this was my fault but I however attribute it to chatty guy distracting me).
I will never forget my encounter with religious guy. Religious guy is the man who preaches to you about Jesus or Johava or whatever and will not leave you alone until you promise to convert, repent your sins, and head directly to church with him immediately after we land. I made the mistake of being nice to my flight neighbor. I threw out his trash for him. I was on the outside and frankly I didn’t want him leaning over me. This good deed landed me in a 45 minute conversation about why I should believe in Jesus. As a Jew, this was exhausting and I tried all the same tactics I do with chatty guy (book, headphones, sleep) but once religious guy is on a roll there no stopping him. Lesson learned here is that no good deed goes unpunished. I now refuse to talk to anyone and I prominently display my Jewish star necklace on all flights.
You’re screwed. Not much you can do here. This dude forgot his deodorant and hes sitting next to you. Nothing you can do but ride it out and practice breathing only with your mouth. Smelly guy taught me that I can hold my breathe for one minute!
I love dogs and I don’t mind having them on my plane. In fact, I would love to play with a dog on a plane. That sounds like fun. However, I think there is a requirement that only small, yappy dogs who don’t shut up are allowed on the plane. Not cool chillaxin dogs. High pitched diva dogs. And the worst part is their owners. The owners who are used to this high pitch sound from the devil and do nothing to shut them up. We all have to just endure the sounds of this tortured animal. Note to self – get a dog sitter.
Ah yes… the grand finale of annoying airplane people. It is no secret that the crying baby is the WORST thing that can occur on a flight. Babys have no off switch. They have lots of energy. And they took a nap beforehand as to save up for their big moment. You sit down, everything is quiet. The doors close. We are lifting off and you start to drift……… BAM CRYING BABY. Now you are awake, irritated and stuck listening to the whales until the baby knocks himself out (so about 3 hours). Get yourself some really good headphones people! I enjoy my beats. 🙂
Small Bladder Guy.
Let’s say the flight is 6 hours. Maybe you had a soda from the little cart. You can pee once (twice max) during this flight. If you’re on the inside you should consider holding it the whole time. But no. Not small bladder guy. This guy requires that he gets the window seat and then waits until you’re sleeping to have to pee. Learn some common courtesy!
Should Have Bought 2 Seats Guy.
Maybe I’m being rude, HOWEVER, when I am on the plane I stay to the confines of my seat. My legs or arms will not cross the invisible barrier that separates one seat from another. I expect the same from you. If you are incapable of staying in your zone then buy 2 seats. I will not be uncomfortable the whole flight. Had to be said.
Who are the most annoying people you encounter on a plane? Share below!