I have found the motherload – my first ever hand written diary, starting in December 1996 and ending in what I can imagine is 1999, before I graduated elementary school in 2000. Below are 3 of my favorite snippets of this diary talking about my crushes Mike and Joey. I referred to them as my boyfriends..I don’t think I knew what “boyfriend” meant. My reflections today are italicized!
12/12/96 this is the first entry of the book
I have a crush on Mike D. He is cute, good looks, and is great at basketball, Also cute frekles.
- I remember Mike. I met him maybe 3 times IRL. He was a son of my dad’s friend and I can vaguely picture him in my head. I was 7 years old and already obsessing over boys. Some things never change.
I made a poster that says “Mike” all over it and a huge heart in the middle that says Mike on one side and Shari on the other and on the bottom it says SMD *heart* MD. Thats how much I love him.
- I remember writing Mike a love letter. It’s mentioned briefly that I gave it to my dad to give to his dad. My dad told me Mike had no time for a girlfriend. I remember being mad but not for very long. I got over it pretty quickly, as my diary mentioned 5+ more boys I liked, or thought were cute, or who I loved. Again, some things never change…
While I was playing outside today, guess who was out there, JOEY! You wouldn’t believe what he did. Joey smiled at me! I smiled back. So that worked out good. He also kept on stopping at my door. Joey even talked to me. He told me he knocked down a stone with his foot. He smiled as he said that. I said “ya right”. Then I smiled. Joey also kept honking at me while he was on his bike. I hope all those things means he likes me. Well, I’ll never know!
- Oh how girls analyze every little thing boys do! Joey was my first real crush. Unlike Mike, Joey and I spent a lot of time together on our block (we were neighbors). When he moved, I was devastated. I would dream about him, hoping he’d come find me one day. I moved, too, a year or two later, ironically a few blocks from where Joey had moved. I will never forget the butterflies in my stomach the day I saw him on the bus for the first time and realized who he was. I was ballsy enough to talk to him, he remembered me, and we were somewhat friendly throughout high school. To this day I have no idea if he had a crush on me back in the day..
Do you remember your first crushes? Tell us about it below!