33 Things You Should Know Before Dating Me

Earlier this week I read a Thought Catalog article called “33 Things You Should Know Before Dating Me”. I was inspired to write my own list. As was my co-worker Alex. You can read her list of 31 here. It surprised me how quickly I came up with my 33. I told my boyfriend when I was done that I had written this and he laughed and he said “#1: I’m a badass bitch”. That one managed to slip off my list, but here are the 33 I came up with:

1. I have cheated before. And learned from it. Lets leave the past in the past.

2. I have no filter. You will know when I’m on my period but you will also know when I’m thinking about you naked. It has its perks.

3. My humor is a cross of a 10 year old boy and a 20 year old frat bro. If you make a fart joke, I will laugh. If you make a poop joke, I will laugh harder. And if you end a line in “that’s what she said”, I will want to marry you.

4. I will ask you how many girls you’ve slept with. Just be honest with me, I’m not going to judge you it’s purely curiosity.

5. I am the worst decision maker of all time, especially when it comes to what to eat. Don’t make me decide all the time, it’s annoying.

6. I am addicted to social media, but when we’re out to dinner I will never check facebook or twitter or pinterest. I won’t even answer a text. I expect you to do the same – our time out should be meant for us.

7. That being said, if we eat something amazing I will take a picture and instagram it on the ride home.

8. My family is extremely important to me. If you don’t make an effort to be nice to them, we won’t work out.

9. My friends are even more so a huge part of my life. Don’t call me while I’m out with them. We really won’t work out if you’re the jealous type.

10. Please don’t ask me to watch sports with you. I will be bored and I will make your experience miserable. I’d much prefer you to be at a bar watching while I shop.

11. I will not expect you to notice if I cut my hair or get my nails done. I will, however, want you to tell me I look beautiful when I dress up for a special occasion.

12. That being said, I don’t know how to take compliments well. I will most likely to tell you to shut up for the first few months we are dating. The day I say “thank you” you’ll know I’m comfortable around you.

13. I don’t want or need expensive gifts for holidays. I treasure time spent together over everything.

14. I can’t ride a bike. I guarantee you will not be the one to change that.

15. I don’t have any tattoos but will never judge you for yours.

16. I don’t have any aspect of my future wedding planned. I’m not “that girl”.

17. I’m extremely allergic to cats..and dogs..and a lot of other random shit. Please be mindful when we go places to give me a heads up so I can prepare with meds.

18. After my last breakup, I refuse to make anything Facebook official. Trust me, it’s for the best.

19. I’ve never seen a lot of “classic” movies. Instead of making me feel bad about it, offer to watch them with me. I’ll be more than happy to.

20. I love to read. I don’t mind if you hate it as long as you let me rant about whatever’s on my kindle that week.

21. My style is comfortable. I’m not hip on the trends, but I will never wear sweatpants outside the house. If you want a girl with all designer dress, I am not the girl for you.

22. I prefer a whiskey ginger or a vodka soda to a beer any day.

23. I google everything. Literally everything

24. I don’t wear a lot of makeup. And when I do put it on, it’s a rare occasion.

25. I hate wearing heels. Flipflops are my best friend.

26. I LOVE to Zumba. You will never have to come with me.

27. I hog all the covers and will most likely push you off the bed. Sorry in advance.

28. I am a Mac girl.

29. I tell horrible stories and I tell them often. I’m working on it!

30. If I ever text you “k” you are in deep shit.

31. Am I mad at you? Send me a cute picture of a puppy, I will be too distracted to care anymore. Yes its that easy.

32. My cooking skills are mediocre. Again, I’m working on it..

33. I am a fantastic girlfriend and I am a relationship girl. If you’re looking for a fling, don’t bother 😉

I challenge you to write your own list & share in the comments below!


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